


I Think We're Alone Now

by firelord65



Series: Fecky's Whumptober Oneshots [19]
Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eric Survives Insurgent, Gen, Suicide Attempt, Whumptober 2020, survivor's guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27114127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firelord65/pseuds/firelord65
Summary: After turning traitor first to Chicago and then to the Insurgent coup, Eric considers what he should do to make things right or if there is anything at all left he can do.
Relationships: Eric & Tris Prior
Series: Fecky's Whumptober Oneshots [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950469
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	I Think We're Alone Now

**Author's Note:**

> Continuing onwards and upwards with Whumptober.
> 
> Day 19: Broken Hearts - Grief | Mourning Loved One | Survivor's Guilt

I found him standing on the rooftop. That alone wasn't abnormal; this was one of the major entrances to the faction when coming in off the trains. But right now there were no trains nor would there be for several hours. The sky was still dark. The dawning sun would not show its face for some time now.

I found him there in the dusky, fading moonlight looking not out but down. The door behind me clicked as it latched shut. The noise made him turn his head just so. One eye spied me, measured me, and rolled back to the streets below in a handful of breaths. So quickly did Eric assess and dismiss me.

If the door hadn't shut behind me, I probably would have left. Even stepping forward I was considering that it would be better for my reputation to do so. "What are you doing up here?" I asked to make polite conversation. That much I could offer. Eric had given up a lot to be here or so the rumors told. I didn't listen to what people said around Dauntless for fear that I would hear about me and what they truly thought of their Divergent rat.

"Considering the possibilities," he grunted in response. I frowned at that and took another step forward. No one was truly the same now as they had been eight months ago, but I didn't think that sounded like a response that the ex-Leader would normally have given.

It sounded introspective. It sounded morose. It sounded like my own damn inner monologue when I dared to check in with myself in the quiet of the morning.

I crossed my arms and scoffed. This was still Eric. "Daydreaming about what could have been if you had stuck with her?" I said.

He was still looking down, his head inclined and his feet wide on the roof's edge. There was a slim ridge all around the building. I had stood on my first day before making the jump into Dauntless. This was on the opposite side of the building. Despite my intention to make my exit, I found myself moving to the edge as well.

There was nothing down there. Nothing of interest, that was. Eric had his hands in his pockets and a surprisingly open expression on his face. No scowl, no furrowed brow. Just soft eyes and a touch more of the morose feeling I had gleaned when first approaching. "Thinking about how things could have been better if I had spoken up sooner," he admitted.

I didn't have a clever retort ready. "I would be lying if I said I didn't wonder that myself," I replied slowly.

"How many people would still be alive? How many families still together?" Eric continued, his voice hitching.

I had no absolution to give him. The trials in Candor had been fair, I thought, by stripping him of his rank in exchange for complete transparency. Jeanine had not come quietly nor had many of her devotees. The others in Dauntless Leadership had been a mixed bag. I went to Max's execution along with most of my fellow loyalists. I didn't make it to all of them. There had been too much work to do to restore the city.

Eric's gaze remained locked on the blank pavement below. "The signs were there and I didn't do anything."

We stood shoulder to shoulder - well, shoulder to elbow - and I let him ruminate. It seemed to not matter to him that I had nothing to say. "Course I know the folks like Four and Tori were seeing the writing on the wall. I just assumed they would blow the whistle. Someone else had to have put it together, right? A conspiracy like that, it was bound to have leaks. I know it did," he said emphatically.

That I did have an opinion on, one that I was more than happy to voice. "Four was on the same plan you were; assume that someone else will do the hard thing and expose the conspiracy," I hissed. My chest tightened and I forced myself to exhale sharply in a mockery of a calming breath. "The coward's way out."

My words were a knife not a balm. Eric took the wound with a slow nod and pain in his eyes. He deserved it just the same that Four had when I told him much the same.

"Maybe then no one will be surprised," Eric said softly. He lifted one foot and pressed it on the ridge around the roof like he was considering if it would carry his weight.

I placed a hand on his arm. His head whipped to stare at it and I pulled away. My fingers tingled from where I had brushed against his skin. "Don't you dare pity me," he snapped.

I turned and stamped my own foot on the ridge where his next step needed to go. "Don't throw your life away now. It won't make a difference," I retorted.

He threw his hands out. "I shouldn't be here, Prior," Eric yelled. The night air let our rising voices ring out freely. The city was a silent listener. "I should have been executed right along with them!"

"Candor spared you because you realized you were wrong before it was too late."

Eric laughed, a bitter sound. "Candor spared me so I could point the finger if the case requires it. They know that I'm as guilty as Max and all the rest."

I shook my head. "I shouldn't even be arguing with you," I said, half to myself and half to him. "What do I care if a traitor takes a short walk and a sudden drop?"

His eyes were still too expressive. There wasn't fury being shot at me; it was fear. Eric was terrified and lost. "Then let me go, Tris," he insisted, his voice dropping down low once more. He stepped to the side and moved back onto the ridge this time with both feet.

I grabbed his forearm with my hand, this time clamping tightly. I had to step onto the ridge, too. "I'm not letting you walk away from what you did. _That_ is why Candor let you stay, Eric," I hissed. "Those families that won't ever be whole again? You get to stay for them. For me. For Tori. For all those people who deserve justice. That means serving your sentence. This isn't a get out for free situation."

Eric pulled once on my arm and I let him, surging forward and pushing him off balance. He fumbled and flailed his free arm to regain his balance.

"If you go down, you get to take one more innocent life with you," I snarled. "And I don't think that's what you want. Because that's exactly what you're trying to run away from."

"Of course I'm trying to run away," Eric replied. His hand was wrapped around my wrist now too, tethering us more firmly together. The open street yawned below in the corner of my eye. I had to make a conscious effort to ignore it and focus only on the young man in front of me.

"You don't get to," I repeated. "For everything that I said before and for one other thing."

He glared at me as I paused. I was angry now. It shouldn't have been on me to ensure that Eric of all people stayed alive, but I wasn't going to fail him and I wasn't going to fail the twelve justices who had decided this was the proper place for him.

"Well?" he snapped. "I assume you're not going to let go until I ask. So just spit it out. What else am I living for?" The anger again gave way to a trembling thread of fear. I felt his hand remain firm around my arm as he was desperately reaching for some reason to stay here on this rooftop.

"You have to stay alive to show the rest of us," I said simply. "For when we might one day slip back into bad habits and think 'maybe our strength is in taking from those who are weaker than us and not in protecting them.' I can't think of a single other Dauntless who would know the cost of that mistake any better than you must now."

The weight of fifty dead Abnegation leaders marked my statement, along with the dozens of casualties from the conflict between Dauntless, Erudite, Candor, and Factionless. All avoidable. All the culmination of Eric and the other's mistakes.

I waited for the scowl, the scoff, or maybe the reckless last push to separate us and try for the easy route of open air beside us.

I was hopeful instead for the soft sigh as Eric looked down at the street once more. He considered it one final time; I could see the wheels turning behind his face. He looked young in the fading moonlight. It was easy to see here that he was only two years older than me.

He lifted his head and returned to looking at me. He wasn't going to say thanks; that was expecting a little too much even from the reformed angry young man. But he did squeeze my wrist as he stepped back onto the sturdy roof once more.

"Good," I said quietly. I followed suit and finally let go of his forearm. Suddenly in the quiet night with all those hot emotions run empty I felt self conscious. I knew it would be impossible to explain this moment to anyone who hadn't been here. That was alright though.

I turned on my heel and moved back to the door. As I touched the handle I heard my name called across the roof.

"Tris," Eric said again. I looked over my shoulder. He was still at the roof's edge, his hands back in his pockets. His next words came across the roof as his shoulders relaxed finally, the dark cloud abated for now. "Thank you."


End file.
